Hi, everyone! These are our readings on conciseness and punctuation use.
Conciseness: Methods of Eliminating WordinessBrought to you by the Purdue University Online Writing Lab at http://owl.english.purdue.edu1. Eliminate unnecessary determiners and modifiersWriters sometimes clog up their prose with one or more extra words or phrases that seem to determine narrowly or to modify the meaning of a noun but don't actually add to the meaning of the sentence. Although such words and phrases can be meaningful in the appropriate context, they are often used as "filler" and can easily be eliminated.WordyAny particular type of dessert is fine with me.Balancing the budget by Friday is an impossibility without some kind of extra help. More Concise Any dessert is fine with me.Balancing the budget by Friday is impossible without extra help. Here's a list of some words and phrases that can often be pruned away to make sentences clearer:
For all intents and purposes, American industrial productivity generally depends on certain factors that are really more psychological in kind than of any given technological aspect. More Concise American industrial productivity depends more on psychological than on technological factors. 2. Change phrases into single wordsUsing phrases to convey meaning that could be presented in a single word contributes to wordiness. Convert phrases into single words when possible.Wordy The employee with ambition...The department showing the best performance... Jeff Converse, our chief of consulting, suggested at our last board meeting the installation of microfilm equipment in the department of data processing. As you carefully read what you have written to improve your wording and catch small errors of spelling, punctuation, and so on, the thing to do before you do anything else is to try to see where a series of words expressing action could replace the ideas found in nouns rather than verbs. More Concise The ambitious employee... The best-performing department... At our last board meeting, Chief Consultant Jeff Converse suggested that we install microfilm equipment in the data processing department. As you edit, first find nominalizations that you can replace with verb phrases. 3. Change unnecessary that, who, and which clauses into phrasesUsing a clause to convey meaning that could be presented in a phrase or even a word contributes to wordiness. Convert modifying clauses into phrases or single words when possible.Wordy The report, which was released recently...All applicants who are interested in the job must... The system that is most efficient and accurate... More Concise The recently released report... All job applicants must... The most efficient and accurate system... 4. Avoid overusing expletives at the beginning of sentencesExpletives are phrases of the form it + be-verb or there + be-verb. Such expressions can be rhetorically effective for emphasis in some situations, but overuse or unnecessary use of expletive constructions creates wordy prose. Take the following example: "It is imperative that we find a solution." The same meaning could be expressed with this more succinct wording: "We must find a solution." But using the expletive construction allows the writer to emphasize the urgency of the situation by placing the word imperative near the beginning of the sentence, so the version with the expletive may be preferable. Still, you should generally avoid excessive or unnecessary use of expletives. The most common kind of unnecessary expletive construction involves an expletive followed by a noun and a relative clause beginning with that, which, or who. In most cases, you can create a more concise sentence by eliminating the expletive opening, making the noun the subject of the sentence, and eliminating the relative pronoun.Wordy It is the governor who signs or vetoes bills. There are four rules that should be observed: ... There was a big explosion, which shook the windows, and people ran into the street. More Concise The governor signs or vetoes bills. Four rules should be observed:... A big explosion shook the windows, and people ran into the street. 5. Use active rather than passive verbsSee our document on active and passive voice for a more thorough explanation of this topic. It is located at http://owl.english.purdue.edu/handouts/grammar/g_actpass.htmlWordy An account was opened by Mrs. Simms.Your figures were checked by the research department. More Concise Mrs. Simms opened an account. The research department checked your figures. 6. Avoid overusing noun forms of verbsUse verbs when possible rather than noun forms known as nominalizations. Sentences with many nominalizations usually have forms of be as the main verbs. Using the action verbs disguised in nominalizations as the main verbs--instead of forms of be--can help to create engaging rather than dull prose.Wordy The function of this department is the collection of accounts.The current focus of the medical profession is disease prevention. More Concise This department collects accounts. The medical profession currently focuses on disease prevention. 7. Reword unnecessary infinitive phrases Some infinitive phrases can be converted into finite verbs or brief noun phrases. Making such changes also often results in the replacement of a be-verb with an action verb. Wordy The duty of a clerk is to check all incoming mail and to record it.A shortage of tellers at our branch office on Friday and Saturday during rush hours has caused customers to become dissatisfied with service. More Concise A clerk checks and records all incoming mail. A teller shortage at our branch office on Friday and Saturday during rush hours has caused customer dissatisfaction. 8. Replace circumlocutions with direct expressions Circumlocutions are commonly used roundabout expressions that take several words to say what could be said more succinctly. We often overlook them because many such expressions are habitual figures of speech. In writing, though, they should be avoided since they add extra words without extra meaning. Of course, occasionally you may for rhetorical effect decide to use, say, an expletive construction instead of a more succinct expression. These guidelines should be taken as general recommendations, not absolute rules. Wordy At this/that point in time...In accordance with your request... More Concise Now/then... As you requested... Here are some other common circumlocutions that can be compressed into just one word:
It is possible that nothing will come of these preparations. She has the ability to influence the outcome. It is necessary that we take a stand on this pressing issue. More Concise Nothing may come of these preparations. She can influence the outcome We must take a stand on this pressing issue. 9. Omit words that explain the obvious or provide excessive detailBe sure always to consider your readers as you draft and revise your writing. If you find passages that explain or describe in detail what would already be obvious to readers, delete or reword them.Wordy I received your inquiry yesterday. Yes, we do have...It goes without saying that we are acquainted with your policy on filing tax returns, and we have every intention of complying with the regulations that you have mentioned. Imagine a mental picture of someone engaged in the intellectual activity of trying to learn what the rules are for how to play the game of chess. Baseball, one of our oldest and most popular outdoor summer sports in terms of total attendance at ball parks and viewing on television, has the kind of rhythm of play on the field that alternates between times when players passively wait with no action taking place between the pitches to the batter and then times when they explode into action as the batter hits a pitched ball to one of the players and the player fields it. More Concise Yes, we do have... We intend to comply with the tax-return regulations that you have mentioned. Imagine someone trying to learn the rules of chess. Baseball has a rhythm that alternates between waiting and explosive action. 10. Omit repetitive wordingWatch for phrases or longer passages in your writing in which you repeat words with similar meanings. Below are some general examples of unnecessary repetition contrasted with more concise versions, followed by lists and examples of specific redundant word pairs and categories.Wordy I would appreciate it if you would bring to the attention of your drafting officers the administrator's dislike of long sentences and paragraphs in messages to the field and in other items drafted for her signature or approval, as well as in all correspondence, reports, and studies. Please encourage your section to keep their sentences short.The supply manager considered the correcting typewriter an unneeded luxury. Our branch office currently employs five tellers. These tellers do an excellent job Monday through Thursday but cannot keep up with the rush on Friday and Saturday. More Concise Please encourage your drafting officers to keep sentences and paragraphs in letters, reports, and studies short. Dr. Lomas, the administrator, has mentioned that reports and memos drafted for her approval recently have been wordy and thus time-consuming. The supply manager considered the correcting typewriter a luxury. Our branch office currently employs five tellers, who do an excellent job Monday through Thursday but cannot keep up with Friday and Saturday rush periods. Redundant PairsMany pairs of words imply each other. Finish implies complete, so the phrase completely finish is redundant in most cases. So are many other pairs of words:
Wordy Before the travel agent was completely able to finish explaining the various differences among all of the many very unique vacation packages his travel agency was offering, the customer changed her future plans. More Concise Before the travel agent finished explaining the differences among the unique vacation packages his travel agency was offering, the customer changed her plans. Redundant CategoriesSpecific words imply their general categories, so we usually don't have to state both. We know that a period is a segment of time, that pink is a color, that shiny is an appearance. In each of the following phrases, the general category term can be dropped, leaving just the specific descriptive word:
Wordy During that time period, many car buyers preferred cars that were pink in color and shiny in appearance. The microscope revealed a group of organisms that were round in shape and peculiar in nature. More Concise During that period, many car buyers preferred pink, shiny cars. The microscope revealed a group of peculiar, round organisms. |
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Punctuation Use
A. COMMAS ,
1. to separate three or more words, phrases, or clauses written in a series.
The Constitution establishes the legislative, executive, and judicial branches of government.
The candidate promised to lower taxes, protect the environment, reduce crime, and end unemployment.
The candidate promised to lower taxes, protect the environment, reduce crime, and end unemployment.
2. to separate independent clauses when they are joined by any of these seven coordinating conjunctions: and, but, for, or, nor, so, yet. (FANBOYS)
The game was over, but the crowd refused to leave.
The student explained her question, yet the instructor still didn't seem to understand.
The student explained her question, yet the instructor still didn't seem to understand.
3. following common introductory words like yes, however, well.
Well, perhaps he meant no harm.
Yes, the package should arrive tomorrow morning.
Yes, the package should arrive tomorrow morning.
4. to separate two or more coordinate adjectives that describe the same noun. DON’T add an extra comma between the final adjective and the noun itself or to use commas with non-coordinate adjectives.
He was a difficult, stubborn child. (coordinate)
Your cousin has an easy, happy smile. (coordinate)
They lived in a white frame house. (non-coordinate)
She often wore a gray wool shawl. (non-coordinate)
Your cousin has an easy, happy smile. (coordinate)
They lived in a white frame house. (non-coordinate)
She often wore a gray wool shawl. (non-coordinate)
5. to set off all geographical names, items in dates (except the month and day), addresses (except the street number and name), and titles in names.
Birmingham, Alabama, gets its name from Birmingham, England.
July 22, 1959, was a momentous day in his life. (When you use just the month and the year, no comma is necessary after the year: "The average temperatures for July 1998 are the highest on record for that month.")
July 22, 1959, was a momentous day in his life. (When you use just the month and the year, no comma is necessary after the year: "The average temperatures for July 1998 are the highest on record for that month.")
Who lives at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, Washington, DC?
Rachel B. Lake, MD, will be the principal speaker.
Rachel B. Lake, MD, will be the principal speaker.
B. APOSTROPHES’
1. in contractions (mostly used in informal writing or spoken language)
That’s (= that is)
Anna’s (= Anna is)
We’ll (= we will)
it’s (= it is)
I’d (= I had)
I’d (= I would)
Who’s (= who is/who has)
Let’s (=let us)
Haven’t (= have not)
Can’t (= cannot)
Don’t (= do not)
2. to show possession (with s )
Mark’s house
Lila’s car
the boys’ bags
Jesus’ disciples
Note:
If the ownership refers to a building, an object, or a piece of furniture, do NOT use an apostrophe
room of the hotel = hotel room
door of the car = car door
leg of the table = table leg
To show joint possession of an object, add 's to the last noun only.
Mark and Lila’s house
Do not use an apostrophe to mean “belonging to it”.
I like its fur.
It’s a furry animal.
C. SEMICOLON :
1. to join related independent clauses in compound sentences.
I know how to defend myself; I’m a taekwondo black belter.
2. to separate items in a series if the elements of the series already include commas.
Members of the band include Harold Rostein, clarinetist; Tony Aluppo, tuba player; and Lee Jefferson, trumpeter.
D. COLON : - aside from business letter greetings (Dear Ms. Winstead: ) , time notations (5:30 p.m.), and Bible chapter and verse references (Genesis 1:18), colons are used after a complete statement in order to introduce one or more directly related ideas, such as a series of directions, a list, or a quotation or other comment illustrating or explaining the statement.
The daily newspaper contains four sections: news, sports, entertainment, and classified ads.
The strategies of corporatist industrial unionism have proven ineffective: compromises and concessions have left labor in a weakened position in the new "flexible" economy.
E. PARENTHESES () – To set off nonessential material included in a sentence. Note: Use sparingly.
e.g., dates, sources, or ideas that are subordinate to the rest of the sentence are set apart in parentheses.
Before arriving at the station, the old train (someone said it was a relic of frontier days) caught fire.
F. DASH –
1.) to emphasize a point or to set off an explanatory comment; but don't overuse dashes, or they will lose their impact.
To some of you, my proposals may seem radical--even revolutionary.
In terms of public legitimation--that is, in terms of garnering support from state legislators, parents, donors, and university administrators--English departments are primarily places where advanced literacy is taught.
2.) to set off an appositive phrase that already includes commas.
The boys--Jim, John, and Jeff--left the party early.
Note: Dashes function in some ways like parentheses (used in pairs to set off a comment within a larger sentence) and in some ways like colons (used to introduce material illustrating or emphasizing the immediately preceding statement). However, comments set off with a pair of dashes appear less subordinate to the main sentence than do comments in parentheses, and material introduced after a single dash may be more emphatic and may serve a greater variety of rhetorical purposes than material introduced with a colon.
G. “QUOTATION MARKS”
1.) to enclose quoted sentences
He asked, "Will you be there?" "Yes," I answered, "I'll look for you in the foyer."
Note:
- Use a set of quotation marks to enclose each direct quotation included in your writing.
- Use a capital letter with the first word of a direct quotation of a whole sentence. Do not use a capital letter with the first word of a direct quotation of part of a sentence.
- If the quotation is interrupted and then continues in your sentence, do not capitalize the second part of the quotation.
| With quotations: Mr. and Mrs. Allen, owners of a 300-acre farm, said, "We refuse to use that pesticide because it might pollute the nearby wells." |
| Without quotations Mr. and Mrs. Allen stated that they "refuse to use that pesticide" because of possible water pollution. |
| With quotations: "He likes to talk about football," she said, "especially when the Super Bowl is coming up." |
| Without quotations: According to their statement to the local papers, the Allens refuse to use pesticide because of potential water pollution. |
Note:
* Indirect quotations are not exact words but rather rephrasings or summaries of another person's words. Do not use quotation marks for indirect quotations.
* Commas and periods go inside the closing quotation mark in conventional American usage; colons and semicolons go outside; and placement of question and exclamation marks depends on the situation.
2. to enclose a word/phrase that is meant ironically or to suggest something other than its literal meaning. Do NOT overuse.
Rebels collect what they claim to be “revolutionary fees” from big companies.
3. for titles of
- short or minor works, such as songs, short stories, essays, short poems, one-act plays, and other literary works that are shorter than a three-act play or a complete book.
- parts of larger works, such as chapters in books; articles in newspapers, magazines, journals, or other periodical publications; and episodes of television and radio series.
H. Underlining and Italics- Underlining and italics are not really punctuation, but they are significant textual effects used conventionally in a variety of situations. They are used:
1. to indicate titles of complete or major works such as magazines, books, newspapers, academic journals, films, television programs, long poems, plays of three or more acts
My favorite Filipino novel in English is The Sky over Dimas.
The Simpsons offers hilarious parodies of American culture and family life.
2. in foreign words that are not commonly used in English
Wearing blue jeans is de rigueur for most college students.
3. in words used as words themselves or for technical or unfamiliar terms used for the first time (and defined)
The English word nuance comes from a Middle French word meaning "shades of color."
The use of chiasmus, or the inversion of syntactic elements in parallel phrases, can create rhetorically powerful expressions.
I. EXCLAMATION POINTS! – used to show strong emotion (Do NOT use in academic/formal writing)
I hear that over 2 million Filipinos have taken the IELTS as of 2007!
As of 2007, over 2 million Filipinos have taken the IELTS.
J. ELLIPSES… – use an ellipsis only in informal writing—never in academic/essay writing
Jan. 22. 2012
Hi, everyone! Our 1st long exam has been moved to Tuesday, Jan. 24, 11:30AM to 1PM. That's my birthday, so please don't disappoint me. See you then!
December 28, 2011
Happy holidays, lovely people! I figured you've had enough downtime to give you energy for this:
http://www.englishclub.com/vocabulary/phrasal-verbs-list.htm
Let's welcome the new year armed with phrasal verbs! ;) See you on January 3!
December 8, 2011
Hi, lovely people! Sorry I couldn't meet you today. Please revisit the wonderful world of adverbs to help you answer the quiz below. Print it out and submit on Tuesday, please.
Some resources that should help: (Please read ALL.)
1. The grammar of adverbs: http://www.englishclub.com/grammar/adverbs.htm
2. Adverbs of manner (take note of those in bold letters): http://www.englishclub.com/vocabulary/adverbs-manner.htm
3. Adverbs of place (can some of them also function as prepositions? Why/how?): http://www.englishclub.com/vocabulary/adverbs-place.htm
4. Adverbs of degree/intensity (how many informal adverbs of degree can you count?): http://www.englishclub.com/vocabulary/adverbs-degree.htm
5. Adverbs of time (what Filipino word/s can you think of for YET?): http://www.englishclub.com/vocabulary/adverbs-time.htm
6. On common misuses of certain adverbs of time: http://forum.wordreference.com/showthread.php?t=2257751
7. Another great resource on adverbs (Which 2 types of adverbs listed here are not listed on resource #1, Englishclub.com? Can you cite other types of adverbs?): http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/adverbs.htm
8. Forms of adverbs and comparison of adverbs (What adjectives are used as adverbs without any modification?) : http://www.ego4u.com/en/cram-up/grammar/adjectives-adverbs/adverbs
